A true story...one man and his dog.

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A true story...one man and his dog.

Postby 1965freeman » Mon Jun 29, 2009 1:03 pm

A friend of mine, we'll call him 'Pete' runs a large plant nursery/ landscaping business. A few weeks ago he was paid a visit by the VAT inspector, who basically goes through all the books to check that everything is in order VAT-wise. After finishing his inspection of the paperwork he met Pete outside in the yard and said "Well, everything seems to be in order, apart form all these claims you have made regarding food and vet's bills for your company's 'Guard Dog'. So far I haven't seen any evidence of this dog."
Pete whistles and calls out "Tommy!". From around the corner lollops an alsation the size of a small cart-horse, wagging his tail, all bouncy and friendly. Tommy licks the back of the VAT man's hand, sniffs his crotch in the way that only a dog can get away with etc....
"Well", says the VAT man "he doesn't look like much of a guard dog to me, more of a family 'pet."
(I know 'Tommy' well and the only way you could get him to injure someone would be to pick him up (with a small crane) and physically hurl him at them.)
Pete grabs Tommy by his collar and gets him to sit at heel. "Bad man!" says Pete to the dog, pointing at the VAT man. Tommy's ears prick-up and he tilts his head and fixes the VAT man with an 'interested' gaze.
"Now," says Pete to the VAT man, "Start running and I'll give you a 10 second head start."
The VAT man ticked a few boxes on his paperwork, quickly got into his car and drove off....
"Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.” (G.Apollinaire)
I do not offer legal advice, I offer common sense suggestions based on shared knowledge.
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Re: A true story...one man and his dog.

Postby Farmer » Mon Jun 29, 2009 1:24 pm

Nice story. I was bitten on my forearm by one that wasn't even serious; just a quick snap. But I will never forget the pain of my bone being crushed for that fraction of a second.
If you're scared of 'them' poisoning 'us' with some shit then maybe you haven't noticed the shit they are already poisoning us with.
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