Free the Trees Please

Free the Trees Please

Postby squark » Tue Jan 31, 2012 7:13 am

Have you been affected by the loss of a tree (or a whole f..ing planet)
Maybe a local copse? Called the Cops?
Caps in hand they said, the Land
Is not our Jurisdiction.
If you wish to help our forest friends
Here is my suggestion........................

NOTICE
Dear Vanqished Bank

Regarding your letter, undated (recieved 25th May 2011) Ref:XOOOOOOOX
As you will be aware our planet and its resources are under terrific strain. Your writing to me has used up paper,made usually of wood pulp, which of course necessitated the felling of a tree and so the degradation of our environment. Ultimately this threatens our chances of survival as a race and lowers the quality of life for us if we do survive.

You will appreciate that for me to process and give my attention to your paperwork (the letter you sent)requires an effort of work on my part. You should also be aware of the cost incurred by me for recycling services provided by my local council.

For these reasons I am writing to you to inform you that any future, unrequested, unwanted documents received by me, whether in the form of letters or advertisements, sent by post or in the form of a "flyer", in fact anything that comes through my letter box from Vanquished Bank or its agents, will be processed, considered and disposed of at a charge of £250 per item. Likewise, telephone communications from Vanquished Bank or its agents will be charged at a rate of £250 per call regardless of the brevity of them.

This letter is not meant in jest. I will invoice you and pursue payment. You may consider this a plain English contract. Further communication from you will be taken as acceptance of the terms and charges.

Thank you for your attention.

They are AS DUMB AS F**K.
Dear Mr.... Refernce your complaint....(thats a charge!)
Dear Vanquished......It wasn't a complaint.....
Dear Mr......we have a statutory obligation to register all criticism as a complaint....(Charge!)
Dear Vanquished....Fascinating, heres another invoice as per my NOTICE
Dear Mr....Please stop teasing us, we can't read, we dont understand contracts.....(charged)
Dear Vanquished...You bunch of shits. Leave the leaves ALONE!
.........
Dear Vanquished....My invoices are overdue
Dear Mr.......Thats not a proper contract, you need signatures from 2 parties....(charged)
Dear Vanquished....You will notice where as the boot was on your foot...its now on my foot....I am kicking you butt...because you picked on my friends....
SO MUCH FUN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :clap:
And the Lord spake unto his people, he said "Get Off MY Bloody Land!"
And the people gave unto the Lord, freely they gave him The Finger
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Location: Stoke on Trent

Re: Free the Trees Please

Postby Prajna » Tue Jan 31, 2012 5:40 pm

squark wrote:Dear Mr.......Thats not a proper contract, you need signatures from 2 parties....(charged)
Dear Vanquished....You will notice where as the boot was on your foot...its now on my foot....I am kicking you butt...because you picked on my friends....


Umm... and the contract they have with you has signatures from 2 parties?
FREEDOM Best Before: 11 Sept 2001
http://tomboy-pink.co.uk/ and http://DeclarePeace.org.uk/
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