Subject: A Very Very Very Very Cunning Plan - Part 1
From: Veronica
Date: 29/3/14 12:59 pm
To: undisclosed-recipients:;

First of all, I’ll tell you a true story. The gentleman involved – My Original Acting First Minister And Humble And Grateful Servant (MOAFMAHAGS) - is on this list.

This story does not appear in his book: Stolen Isles … probably because – as far as he was concerned – it didn’t work. But … with an ever-so-slight-adjustment – I think it is more-or-less guaranteed to work … because it absolutely fits with own experiences.

Simply because there is a vast different between Prison Officers and Police Officers.

Prison Officers do understand ONE GOLDEN RULE: They are only there to incarcerate whoever they have been told to incarcerate … and never for one second longer than the sentence.

And, unless those requirements are fulfilled … to their complete satisfaction … they ‘Don’t want to know’!

(This in contrast to State Mercenaries, who feel they can do any thuggery they can get away with … which these days is more-or-less anything … because their colleagues + Maggots will cover for them).

The ultimate ‘fear’ is always ‘prison’. Isn’t it?

Well, let’s briefly identify the fears:

1.       Maggots & so-called ‘Judges’.

2.       Bayleafs.

3.       Prison.

Let’s come back to that, but let’s get on with my story … because it involves the ‘ultimate’: Prison.


During his attempt to show that Shetlands could never have been a part of Scotland, MOAFMAHAGS, was incarcerated for 12 days.

Now, the decision to incarcerate him (for his INSOLENCE AND DISOBEDIENCE) was made by an ALLEGED-Sheriff in Lerwick, Shetlands. But there is no prison on Shetlands. (The Forvegian Prison is still under construction … hoping to complete in 2513, last quarter). The nearest actual one is in Aberdeen … 200 miles away, across the foamy briny.

So, they flew MOAFMAHAGS across the briny … and put him in a Police Wagon, which they drove to Aberdeen Prison.


(In my case ‘RECEPTION’ was a fucking great door, at the top of the largest flight of steps I have ever seen, with a bell-push the size of a Golf Ball, surrounded by a housing the size of a Football. You fucking knew you were ‘somewhere just a bit different’. The Copper pressed the bell, and we heard it ring ‘down the hallway’, but nothing happened. I said: “I don’t think they’re in. Perhaps they’re out shopping. D’you think we should come back later?”. Surprisingly, the Copper did find that funny)

To ‘RECEPTION’ … now this is the bit. The Prison Officer asked MOAFMAHAGS his NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

His NAME!!!!!!

His NAME!!!!!!

Now, because MOAFMAHAGS had been fundamentally ignoring me (at the time), and what we’d been doing, he defaulted to ‘base’, by saying: “Stuart: of the family Hill”.

Whereas, even at the time, we had moved on past that … to “I’m a Man of Peace”, of “Peaceful Inhabitant”, or “Human Being” even … etc … something that was providing far more success.

So, the Prison Officer looked at his paperwork, and decided he could not translate “MR. STUART HILL” from “Stuart: of the family Hill” … and then said some immortal words:  I CANNOT ACCEPT THIS PRISONER, HE WILL HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE POLICE STATION”.

So, the Copper had to take MOAFMAHAGS, back out to the Police Van.

Of course, then it occurred to everyone that “THE POLICE STATION” … was 200 miles away … across the foam … in Lerwick. (Oh what tangled webs ….!)

So, they had no alternative, but to try again. So they took MOAFMAHAGS back into RECEPTION, and pointed out their problem to the Prison Officer.

Scratching around for a way out, the Prison Officer asked: “What’s your Date of Birth?”.

Once again, because he’d not been listening (AND HADN’T REALISED HE’D WON!!!!!), MOAFMAHAGS quoted his DoB, adding “allegedly”. He was asked what that meant, and said “Well I could not read a calendar at the time”.

However, the Prison Officer was thereby persuaded to “accept the prisoner”.

Now … think about all that.

What is your Name?” … “Mind your own business” (Said KNOWING that IF THEY HAVE TO ASK THE QUESTION ... THEY MUST NEED A SATISFACTORY ANSWER ... which you are NOT giving them!)

What is your Date of Birth?” … “Mind your own business” (Said KNOWING that IF THEY HAVE TO ASK THE QUESTION ... THEY MUST NEED A SATISFACTORY ANSWER ... which you are NOT giving them!)

I do know, and I can confirm from experience, Prison Staff are much more ‘sticklers’ for ‘rules’.

Sure … I know that they could easily look at the Copper, and say: “Is this such & such?” … and the Copper would say “Yes”.

But I’m sure that, if you then said: “He’s wrong. He has no idea who I am. I’m the only one the knows for sure and, btw, that even includes my parents” … that would fuck anything the Copper said.


I'm absolutely convinced that - if you refuse to do that … THEY ARE FUCKED.

Which means that "The Ultimate Threat of Prison" could be rendered "toothless".

(They would have to take you back to the Police Station. Then what do they do with you?)

It all comes down to the same thing every time: THEIR 'SYSTEM' ONLY WORKS WITH YOUR CO-OPERATION ... BY ADMITTING TO YOUR NAME!!!!

As Mark Passio says: The Lost Word is "NO" ... and alternate spelling & meaning "KNOW".

"You always give your enemy the means to defeat you" ... STOP GIVING THEM THAT MEANS.