Subject: I watched some football on Sunday afternoon
From: Veronica
Date: 11/2/14 7:50 pm
To: undisclosed-recipients:;

I didn’t see the beginning, nor did I see the end (apparently it ended 2-2).

While I watched, Fulham had scored an early goal, and Manchester United were slinging everything they had at Fulham (whose defence were standing up to the onslaught quite well … although a bit lucky, at times).

But, what really struck me was when an “offside” occurred.

(For those who don’t know what an “offside” is … it was rule brought in during the 1950s “to cut down on the number of goals”. If the ball is passed from one player to another – on the attacking side … and there is no-one, on the defending side, in between (actually it is slightly more complicated than that) … then the game stops … and goal kick is given to the defending side).

Why would it be necessary “to cut down on the number of goals”? Make it harder to score goals?

Well … the answer to that is simple! Because there’s absolutely NO EXCITEMENT in seeing the ball go into the net!

Is there?

That’s not exciting!

The most exciting part of football is to see them running to & fro in mid field … backwards and forwards … where one side gets the ball, kicks it forward … the other side tackles … or simply gets control … and then starts to kick it back the other way. And so it goes on for about 90 minutes … sometimes this occurs at one end or the other … while they exhaust themselves ... such as Fulham’s end, when I watched last Sunday.

And then you have the “long balls” … where one side kicks it all the way up field … to an opponent.

Now THAT ... is "excitement".

THAT ... is worth the Ticket Price!

So … did you see that second goal, then?

Nah … I was chatting to the bloke standing next to me … about our pigeons. And about how we intend to clean out our gutters next week. Why should I be interested in the fucking goals? All that happens is everything stops, and they all go back to where they started … and start again. How exciting is that?

Yea … I know what you mean … BOOORING! Almost as bad at those free kicks just outside the Penalty Area … fucking boring!

(What’s the REAL reason for the “offside” rule? Think Littlewoods, Vernons, Zetters. Think 1 point for an away win, 2 points for a 0-0 draw, and 3 points for a score-draw … i.e. “money”)