Veronica, I had the exact same thing on
Tuesday. I was asked what was in the parcel I was posting. I
hadn't a clue; I was just asked to post it. I said I did not know.
They said that they could not accept the parcel unless they knew
what was inside "FOR SECURITY REASONS".
I said "But then you are only taking my word for it aren't you,
even if I lie to you? They said "Yes". I said "So what is the
point of the question then? Do you open every parcel to see if the
sender is lying"? "No" they said.
I retorted "In that case inside this parcel is a fairy on top of a
small christmas tree; when you fold her wings back she farts; but
don't worry, the wind velocity is less than 15 knots and the noise
level is less than 10 decibels. No harm will come to those
processing and opening the parcel. If you don't believe me open
I said this loud enough for all in the proverbial queue hear. This
banter went back and forth until they decided to take the parcel.
(I can see we are going to have FUN with this!)
"What is inside your parcel?" ... "My budgerigar. I'm
sending the cage separately"
"What is inside your parcel?" ... "An Aston Martin" ...
"Don't be ridiculous!" ... "Oh, only a model ... what did you
"What is inside your parcel?" ... "A cat ... don't let it out of
the bag, whatever you do!"
"What is inside your parcel?" ... "A tortoise. It was a toss up
between sending it in a parcel, or just letting it walk there by
itself. I sat up all night working out which would be
faster or slower"
"What is inside your parcel?" ... "An e-mail ... but I don't want
it to get there too quickly"
"What is inside your parcel?" ... "Another parcel. Do you want to
know what's inside that?"
"What is inside your parcel?" ... "A facsimile of a hologram"
Back in my 9/11 research days (and before my "Freeman" days), I was
in contact with a guy in Indiana, who was half-Cherokee. He was a
"Freeman", insofar as he called himself "Vampire Killer" ... because
he took on all the Blood-suckers (Estate Agents, Banks, etc) who
were (to quote him) "Sucking the life-blood out of the country". His
grandmother had taught him Latin, so he knew all the Legal Terms.
In the Legal World, he signed himself "ProSeLandShark" ... which is
how I came to understand that "Pro se" means "Litigant-in-Person".
He had run-ins with Judges. After one, he sent some cat-shit, in a
cardboard box, through the post, to the Judge saying "You shit on
me ... I shit on you". The Judge retaliated by ordering the
local Policymen to go and Taser him. They did (he said "Stun gun no
fun") ... and they locked him up. He put as much toilet paper as he
could down the loo, and blocked it up ... flooding his cell. The
Policymen didn't like that, so they let him go.