Subject: Saffire, Fern, Ashleigh, Tia & Angie
From: Veronica
Date: 14/3/13 3:32 pm
To: undisclosed-recipients:;

I make no secret of the fact that I’m head-over-heels in love with Saffi.

And her elder sister, Fern.

And their elder brother, Ashleigh.

 And their eldest sister, Tia.

And their mother, Angie. Via Lawful Rebellion, Angie has managed to hang on to her family, and home, etc, through thick & thin, in the last 5 years.

How? Why? Because she’s fucking BRILLIANT!!! She is THEE MOST FUCKING BRILLIANTEST person I know, and have ever known. (And, bear in mind, I know Michael Doherty ... who certainly comes a very close second. Maybe, the way Michael goes on, he will level up to Angie one day. The dedication, inner strength, and resourcefulness are the same ... it’s only that Angie has been doing it for longer ...)

Angie has taken on Courts (mainly Llanelli ... but others), and turned them upside down. And the Council. And the local schools. And the local Plod. And ... well ... quite frankly ... ‘you name it’ ... Utility Companies ... you name it ...

... in fact the only thing she doesn’t seem to be able to control is the weather (It may very well be that “The rain, in Spain, falls mainly on the plain”, but “The rain, in Wales, falls mainly from the sky”, I can assure you)

Why do I write this? Well, the hilarious stories abound. They go on and on. Saffi (“Saffire”) has a pony, and Tia has a pony.  And the stories about all of this are endless, and hilarious ... largely due to the attitudes of the ponies, and those of Tia, Saffi, and Angie, and the lady who has taught Saffi to ride ... a mega-ballsy lady called Debbie.

But I want to tell you one about Bay Leafs. ‘Coz Angie has had (more than) her fair share of those, in the last few years. Like everyone else, she tried to reason with them, at first. (I mean ... so did I ... at first).

And (again like me) she eventually realised that all the reasoning in the world, has no effect. They are still brainwashed Muppets, just like the local Plod.

So her attitude now is to say: “I don’t give a flying fuck! You take one step across this doorway, and I’ll lay you out. So fuck off”. (That’s a sentiment I echo, personally).

Some while ago (could have last year, or even before that – time flies) Saffi would have been about 10 – or even 9. And when the Bay Leafs knocked, Angie stood on the doorstep with a frying-pan in her hands, and told them to fuck off. (Angie fully understand about ‘Self-defence’, you see). And the children were also in, at the time. So Saffi joined Angie on the doorstep, with a small saucepan in her (very small) hand. Saffi eyed the big Bay Leaf, and then eyed her small saucepan. She then went back into the kitchen and brought out a much bigger saucepan!

The Bay Leafs turned and fled.

Yesterday, I was told, the Bay Leafs turned up again. One was recognised from the last time, but the other was some kind of ‘newbie twat’, because the first thing he said to Angie was “Can I come in?”. (I’ll leave you to guessimate Angie’s reply!).

Anyway, at this same time, Saffi was coming up the hill, from school, and saw the Bay Leafs, including the one she recognised. As she approached the house, they got back into their car, and drove away.

So Saffi went inside the house, and said to Angie “Did I scare them off?” Angie said “It certainly looks it, Saff”.

Does anyone understand why I’m head over heels in love with Saffi?

PS This story is utterly typical. There are many, many more.